In South Africa, we’re accustomed to advertisements that shrewdly reference a particular competitive advantage. Campaigns can’t reveal a rival brand’s name. As a result, everyone tries to outdo everyone else by being clever. And cool. And by mastering the art of being subtle. It’s bloody hard work. No wonder they’re all paid so much. Silver-tongued ad execs sporting the industry-ubiquitous uniform of Polo and Paul Smith, with the right touch of faded Diesel jeanpant and artfully constructed chaotic hair, spend a lot of time (and their client’s retainer) developing strategies intended to grow market share and build brand equity. In offices adorned with expensive African art amidst the gurgling sounds of a gleaming coffee machine and/or koi pond, creative teams will spend hours on a brief – revert after revert striving for perfection. No matter though how intelligent, witty or ‘on-brand’ their campaigns may be, they can never say by name that their client is cheaper, better, faster or bigger than a rival brand’s product. In the UK, they can. And they do. And I love it. For a subtlety simpleton like me, it’s bliss.
On the radio every day this week, I have heard an advert by Microsoft’s Outlook about how Google Mail scans your personal messages in order to serve you specific advertisements based on the contents of your emails. Outlook positions itself as more private than Gmail. Outlook says it straight… “We do not scan your personal emails. Gmail does. We are private. Gmail is not.” Refreshingly to-the-point and effective. The same with supermarket advertisements. Acado says they’re cheaper than Tesco. Tesco promises to give you a refund if they’re not cheaper than Sainsbury’s or Morrisons on the same items. Asda promises to beat the lot of them. They all try and outdo each other and it’s a complete dog-show of competitive price wrangling – but it’s awesome. Why? Because we, the consumer, are at the focus of it all. We’re the prize at the end of the race. There’s something refreshing about this state of transparency. They all want my money. And they’re not ashamed to say it or fight over it. The playing field is level, so the lot of them can bash each other to bits in efforts to try and secure my purchase. And at the close of play, after all of the TV ads have been flighted and the catalogue pages printed, I can make the ultimate choice by voting with my wallet. Oh the power of it all.
I don’t do subtle very well. I’m too stupid. I’m also lazy. So to be told that I’m getting the best deal and it really is the best deal, what a win. Easier than being told that my supermarket is “Good for Life” or “The Difference” or is “Inspired by Me”. Quite frankly I don’t give a baboon’s blue bottom. All I want to know is that I’m getting the best products at the best price. I’m the easiest consumer to market to. I will shop where it’s convenient. I like shiny things and big signs. I will buy anything that’s half price. Usually in multiples of quantities I never need. I like rewards, vouchers, discounts and free stuff. Don’t give me complicated innuendo or fine print. I don’t have time and I’m too tired to try and figure out any witty repartee. I will always opt for simple and straight up.
Britain may purport to be the bastion of all things educational and cultural, but when it comes to advertising, their contribution is like Walker Texas Ranger – crops up everywhere, is as subtle as a jackhammer and is usually engaged in some kind of confrontational headlock with a competing party. I find it all most delightful. But then I would, wouldn’t I? I’m about as discreet as a heart attack.
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| According to Tesco "Every little helps." It sure bloody does. |
