- He learnt (again) how to ride a bike without training wheels. The first time was when he turned four at home in South Africa. After three of his bicycles were stolen out of our garden, he (unsurprisingly) lost the skill and the inclination to ride. He’s now re-mastered it. And (unsurprisingly) his bike hasn’t been stolen out of our garden. One because we don’t have much of a garden to speak of and two because children’s bicycles aren’t high on the British hit-list of hot items to fleece. Thieves here seem to prefer cash or electronics. Funny that.
- Gabriella has learnt to speak. She has conquered this milestone with aplomb. She speaks very well. And in abundance. Even in her sleep. We’re not sure whether we should enrol her in a school for the Gifted of the Gab or buy a muzzle. A muzzle is cheaper so we’re inclined to head more in that direction.
- Our children now share a room. And a bunkbed. This tandem bedding down kicks the ass out of any sleep sense CD, book or sleep training schedule we’ve heard of, but never done. At 7:30pm we close their bedroom door and leave them to it. Eventually they’ve exhausted each other, instead of us.
- We visited Spain. It was awesome. I caught warm puke in my hands and sat with chunks of masticated oats and regurgitated milk for four hours in a car and a two-hour plane ride. But it was still awesome.
- We visited Paris. We ate so much cheese that I dreamt of boats of Bree floating in a river of Gorgonzola in the county of Camembert. It too - was awesome. The cheese. And the city.
- Tim visited New York (thrice), Dubai, Russia (twice), Denmark (twice), Turkey (twice) and Amsterdam (twice). He now needs a new passport with more pages for all his customs stamps. I would hate him. But he’s my husband and I figure we’ve got at least another 30 years of passive aggression in our marriage before the hate sets in.
- I had my first proper car accident. Ok yes, I’ve nudged poles and brushed past gates. But this time, I reversed straight into a parked car in my own street after I realised I’d left the oven on. Shameful is to have to write a note that reads: ‘I am so sorry I bashed your car”. More shameful is the fact that I had to do it in my pyjamas.
- I dropped a brand-new i-phone into the loo. We resurrected the phone by leaving it in a container of rice for 24 hours and letting it dry out in the cupboard that houses our boiler. I have never been more complimentary of Apple’s technology or resilience to dummies. Respect Apple. Sorry Samsung - it's just never going to happen.
- I locked myself out of our house. Twice. The second time my daughter was inside. Alone. I was stranded outdoors with my son. We were freezing. Shoe-less in our pyjamas. I discovered that while British homes don’t have burglar bars, they’re ironically very difficult to break into. I also discovered that feigning humour with pathetic jokes in moments of intense stress is my default setting for coping.
- I have started receiving voucher coupons in the post for wine and nappies from my supermarket. These are my most regular purchases. To me they go hand-in-hand. If you need to buy nappies, you sure as hell need to buy wine.
- I started a new job. After I had the same one for almost seven years.
- I drive a 4x4 vehicle and I don’t even know what that means – except that I pay more for petrol.
- Tim now exercises. Like proper. He walks 10 kilometres to and from work. And does Pilates twice a week. I can’t even mock him, because I do nothing. The most I do is get out of my car and walk the 50 metres to my office door.
- Tim saw Manchester United play at Old Trafford for the first time. This experience ranks top of his lifetime achievement list alongside having children and getting on a waiting list for a Playstation 4.
- I left a bag with my purse and all four of our passports in a supermarket baby changing room. I got them all back. The same day. Along with every pound I had in my purse. I didn’t even have to create a Facebook Appeals page or offer a reward. Someone just did the right thing and handed it in. My heart overfloweth with gratitude.
- On a work trip after an evening function, I couldn’t remember which station my hotel was located at. After traversing back and forth for an hour trying in vain to find my bearings at each stop on the line, I eventually started to cry. A stranger helped me. He suggested I calm down, stop crying and call my boss for help. I did. And it worked. My faith in the humanity of the random British stranger has been restored. So too has my resolve to master the public transport system once and for all.
- While I was cooking and my attention was diverted, my two year old daughter who was sitting on the kitchen counter ‘helping me’, put one of my son’s dinky cars in the microwave and turned it on. The wheel exploded and caught on fire. We escaped a serious accident, but at least my daughter will most likely avoid a microwave for the rest of her life. Silver lining in there somewhere.
- We said goodbye to our best friends, reunited with old friends and have started making some new friends.
- At our first dinner with aforementioned new friends, I drank two bottles of white wine and spoke at length and increasing volume about how colonialism instituted by the British was the start of apartheid and corruption in South Africa. This theory gained little support. I arrived home after falling on the pavement, was violently ill in my own bed and awoke in the morning amidst a sea of lamb curry vomit. I have never felt worse than I did that morning hunched over a bath of bleach scrubbing lamb curry out of my white bed linen. I learnt a big lesson that day. Don’t drink white wine with lamb curry. Stick to red. Possibly also reconsider white linen.
- I have bought more second-hand clothes and shoes than new ones. Vintage is the way forward. That or Gap. On a sale.
- We moved to a new home. In a new country. On a different continent.
- We started a new life.
2013 was a big year for our little Cook family.
Here's to 2014 - you show us yours, we'll show you ours.
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| 2013 |
