Why do we say that a person lost their battle with cancer? “After a brave fight, so and so sadly lost their battle with leukemia.” As though they had choice in the matter? It implies a sense of responsibility for a battle that no individual has chosen.
Why too do we say that a woman fell pregnant or fell in love? What’s up with the falling theme? We say too that someone fell ill, or fell on hard times. So how can we possibly describe birth and love in the same way as we do sickness and bad fortune?
Literally where on earth is that Malaysian Airlines plane? How can an entire aircraft with 300 people simply vanish? Someone knows something.
Literally where on earth is Madeline McCann? How can a little girl simply vanish? Someone knows something.
What moron came up with the oxymoron ‘Holy War’? And how stupid is fighting and killing in the name of religion anyway. Seriously. We’re all shocked and sickened by the Holocaust, by genocide and war – and yet we continue to allow the carnage to continue. And what’s worse – we watch it live on television. We shudder. We cringe. And then we carry on with our lives as though nothing happened.
How come the people with the most wisdom and experience of life (the elderly) are treated the most appallingly? They’re hidden away to die. Instead of learning from their history, we negate the value of their experiences. We treat babies like demi-gods and they offer us nothing of real value until they’re no longer babies. How can a society have it so backward?
Why do dogs eat poo? All dogs. All poo.
Why do nuclear weapons exist? In an age of (supposed) enlightenment with the tenants of basic human rights espoused at every turn, how can there still exist the power to wipe out humanity? And who has the right to sanction this power?
How can a plane carrying innocent people be blasted from the sky? And no one takes any responsibility for it? It just happens. And we leave it at that.
Why do good women – intelligent, kind, beautiful – struggle to meet good men? How come they seem to attract dickhead after dooshbag followed by cockrod? Where's the logic in that?
Cancer makes profit. It’s in the best financial interests for pharmaceutical companies and the health insurance industry for there to simply be ‘no cure’. People die so other people can get rich - in an industry ostensibly committed to saving lives. Really?
If olive oil comes from olives and sunflower oil comes from sunflowers…where does baby oil come from?
Celebrities pursue fame relentlessly. They strive to be recognised. Then when they achieve fame, they dedicate the same energy towards becoming unrecognisable?
How can ministers in parliament change portfolios after re-elections? What does a Minister of Sports possibly know about the Department for Correctional Services?
Shouldn’t everyone be an organ donor? Like it’s a given. Like getting a birth certificate or something.
Why do we sleep so much better to the sound of the ocean?
Why do dogs sniff your crotch? Every. Single. Time.
No fat, low fat, high fat. What’s up with that?
Why are the people who do the most important jobs in life – teachers, doctors, civil servants, charity workers - remunerated less than people who’re paid to hit balls, kick balls or hoop balls simply for the entertainment value of others?
Some pregnant women dream of a giving birth to a pineapple or an octo-baby. That would be bliss. Give me a mutant cyclops any day. I lie awake worrying about problems I cannot solve. And then I worry about worrying. And so the cycle continues. And along chimes another gong…signaling the ever-approaching dawn of daylight. And with it, comes relief from the things that go bump in the night. In my head. Hopefully the baby’s not the only bump that will emerge from my body come November. Sweet baby cheesus, I hope so.
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| Image from etsy.com |
