Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Ubuntu

“One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu – the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can’t exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.” - Desmond Tutu

I love this. Everything about it. I wish that the entire planet would embrace ubuntu. It’s so simple, yet so powerfully positive. In South Africa, whether we recognise it or not, we live with the spirit of ubuntu. It’s intrisically woven into the fabric of everyday living. There’s a reason that the proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” has African origins. It’s how we are. How we think. It just is.

Moving to the UK has shown me more than ever what ubuntu means. And how I miss it. Especially when it comes to my family. Raising children here is tough. Raising children anywhere is tough. It’s full-on. It’s full-time. My eldest recently discovered sarcasm. And irony. And eye-rolling. My daughter’s superpower is melodrama. She’s prone to hysterics. She’s clocked my breaking point and just the right pitch to take me there. My youngest is a wild one. He’s fearless. He seeks and destroys. He chewed chunks of foam from a brand new trampoline in five minutes, threw an iphone down a stormwater drain and stuffed my bank cards and our post down the slats in our suspended wooden floor. They keep us on our toes. It’s what they do. They’re children. They're lovely and a little loathsome at times, if you're honest enough to admit it. And this is true no matter where you live.

Moving abroad is most often a choice that expats willingly make. It’s a journey that people undertake with planning and purpose. And we’re prepared, in part, to deal with everything that's different: the lifestyle, the weather, the people. What’s hardest to handle though, in my opinion, is raising a family far away from home. Without a full family framework. Without ubuntu.

As Saffas, we’re not the only expats doing this. I read a crazy statistic that one in every 10 people living in the UK is a foreign citizen. Most, like us, will be doing it alone. Doing our best to make memories and mark milestones to share with our loved ones across the miles. Doing our best to parent with a plan or wing it spectacularly, as I do. 

Living here we can speak of first world privilege. Of access to the best healthcare, education, public transport, history, art, culture. And I’m appreciative of all it all. Truly I am. Life is more than this though. It’s about the little things. The cricket match. The ballet concert. The awards assembly. And it's about the big things. Birthdays. Christmases. Anniversaries. And ubuntu. Life is about ubuntu. A philosophy for living that for all its advancement, this developed world hasn’t quite developed yet.